When I was 16 years old,I went to Yunnan with my family.We are stay in 9 days.Although have a little tired,but I am very happy.
We are went to the Kunming is my first time that we are not accustomed to environment. I saw a lot of good-looking in Kunming local and magic caves, I am very happy. In the bus, we are very happy for group discussing this day. we are miss the day's activities.
After a few days, we went to the Dali, Dali landscape is very beautiful and clouds in the sky is also visible. Along the way, we do not see too many cars.This is the quiet place. we are went to visit the three towers and temples. In my opinion ,I 'm very like it.
Next, we went to the Lijiang that impressed me most was the ancient city, we into the city before,the title is Mao Zedong's inscription and very spectacular which also has a lot of snacks for the specialty of Yunnan, and really felt like entering a world.
This travelling, I am favourite palce is Lijiang. because have a lot of places history of interest.
Nice story Julia, you have used past tenses to write about a past experience. However, this week’s blog was more a chance for you to talk about your life experience rather than on particular holiday. Always use the example blog that I give you for ideas about what you need to do.
ReplyDeleteSome corrections:
“When I was 16 years old,I went to Yunnan with my family.We are stay in 9 days”
You can put these two sentences together using ‘where’.
Also, to put a verb into the past ‘stay’ we only need to use the past simple tense, not ‘are stay’.
Quantities of time are given with the preposition ‘for’.
‘When I was 16 years old, I went to Yunnan with my family, where we stayed for 9 days’
“I 'm very like it.”
‘Very’ makes adjectives stronger, but here you want to make the verb ‘like stronger’. To do this we use ‘really’ not ‘very’.
‘I really like it.’
“Next, we went to the Lijiang that impressed me most was the ancient city, we into the city before,the title is Mao Zedong's inscription and very spectacular which also has a lot of snacks for the specialty of Yunnan, and really felt like entering a world.”
This sentence has too many ideas. Break it into two or three sentences.
‘Next, we went to the Lijiang. What impressed me most was the ancient city, which is very spectacular. We also had a lot of snacks for the specialty of Yunnan, and it really felt like entering another world.’